Porcupine, Hedgehog or …

Did you know that porcupines don’t shoot their quills? I didn’t. At least, I didn’t until recently.

I was talking to Jimmy about how sometimes I feel cornered and like a porcupine, I raise my quills and shoot people before they can hurt me. Which is when he said, “Porcupines don’t shoot quills. They turn around, walk backwards, poke and then run away.”

I was a surprised. I had no idea. And then after a few seconds of silence, I asked, “Then hedgehogs?”

“They just curl up into a spiky ball”

With that, we lay in bed, silence filling the room. Me, contemplating with fascination, this newly acquired general knowledge. Him, oh who knows what men think about sometimes. According to some experts, they actually can think about NOTHING.

A couples of minutes later, he broke the silence: “You’re still a porcupine, though. You get scared and then you turn around, show your ugly side, poke people real hard and then run away.”

So…just a few days ago, I happily became aware that  I am the elephant and now, I am also the porcupine. What’s with all my epiphanies involving the animal kingdom?

“You know, you can still touch a curled up hedgehog. You have to be super careful, but you can still hold it in your hand.”

“So I should be a hedgehog instead?”

“Hmm?”

“Urgh. Playing dead. It feels so… so… powerless!”

“Could be worse. You could be an armadillo.”

“…”

 

 

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FML? No! GMH…

Have you heard or seen these three letters “FML” ? If you’re not familiar, it stands for “F**k My Life”. It’s a more jarring way of saying “Woe is me”. I suppose the vulgarity underscores the indignation towards the Great Universe that has not only given lemons, but also thrown out all possible ingredients and utensils to make lemonade.

Negativity is a black hole that sucks you in and soon you’re drowning in a whirlpool of hopelessness and depression. I know how easy it is to choose to wallow in self-pity. To curl up in a fetal position and whine “nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I’m going to eat some worms”.

Years ago, I was made to see a psychiatrist and take medication for depression. There are still a few really dark days when my concerned friends ask if I need a refill on my prescription. So, I know what I’m talking about when I say that its one thing to accept that crap happened. Its quite another to hide in one corner feeding the “I’m gonna eat some worms” monster. It’s insatiable. Worse, it grows stronger and bigger, the more you feed it.

Which is why I really wanted to share this cheerful website with you!

GivesMeHope.com

If you’re familiar with Twitter, then think of it as Chicken Soup For The Soul, Twitter-style. Short, juicy bursts of sweetness and inspiration!

Here’s an example:

It even has an iPhone app so you can get booster shots of hope while on the go! It’s FREE so what are you waiting for? Choose hope. Choose to fill your days with stories of others’ triumphs. Anecdotes that remind us that if Life give us lemons, someone out there has the syrup and a tumbler full of refreshing ice water.

I choose to surround myself with cheer and optimism. That way, it balances out the bitter cynic in me, I hope.

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I have a (light) green thumb!

I am so pleased with my lillies! They are blooming so beautifully and today when I came home, I was greeted by the calming perfume wafting from them.

I could get used to this.

Below: Blooming lillies. Taken with iPhone 3GS. Edited using Camerabag (Colorcross effect).

 

 

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I am the elephant

I think almost everyone knows the story about the blind men and the elephant? Here’s the Jain version:

The blind man who feels a leg says the elephant is like a pillar; the one who feels the tail says the elephant is like a rope; the one who feels the trunk says the elephant is like a tree branch; the one who feels the ear says the elephant is like a hand fan; the one who feels the belly says the elephant is like a wall; and the one who feels the tusk says the elephant is like a solid pipe.

A wise man explains to them:

“All of you are right. The reason every one of you is telling it differently is because each one of you touched the different part of the elephant. So, actually the elephant has all the features you mentioned.”

Its an old children’s story, and I’ve always known it but today, I had an epiphany: I am the elephant.

You see, I really hate it when people judge me or extrapolate my actions to draw certain conclusions about me. Who doesn’t, right? Well, it really BUGS the living daylights out of me. Once, a close friend of mine said in a heated moment, “Faith, if I’ve drawn anything, its only because you gave me the materials to do it!” That stung. All the more because of my propensity towards hyper-responsibility.

For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with the inner turmoil of being fully aware of how my actions (intentional or otherwise) influence others’ behavior towards me. We are all intertwined, are we not? What we do, affects someone else, right? The first time I heard someone tell me about the two-four (“We are responsible towards others, but not for them”) principle, it was also an AH HAH! moment. The confusion comes when I accept that I cannot be responsible for the way others feel about me, but I am responsible for the way I behave which influences the way they feel about — simply put, it’s ultimately all my own damn fault, still.

Its been a rough few weeks. I’ve bared my heart only to have it handed back to me, stabbed. I was metaphorically drowning, and choking in the salty sea water and desperately trying to get attention and pointing to the lifesaver, only to have the person on the boat say, “Erm, I don’t want to be responsible for saving you. You need to learn to swim. I really want you to know how to swim. I believe you can be an Olympic swimmer. I really do!”  I was livid. But since anger is rarely the primary emotion, I dug deep and acknowledged that I was reeling from feelings of rejection from being left in a lurch and worse, I felt like asking for the life preserver was a sign of a unpardonable spiritual and emotional deficit. Yet more things to fault myself on.

But today…

Today, I am the elephant.

Does the elephant have a long trunk? Yes.

Did the blind man think the trunk mean the elephant is really a tree? Yes.

Is it the elephant’s fault? NO.

People will draw whatever conclusions they will about you, and yes, it will be based on real experiences. But its not your fault if they stop at the trunk and walk away, certain that they’ve touched a tree.  And those materials that you “gave” to people to draw with? Remember, its still their hands that do the drawing. You may have supplied some of the materials, but its not your fault what they decide to do with it.

Ultimately, elephants don’t care what blind men think of them. They know they are elephants — strong bits and rough parts all rolled into one beloved Pachyderm.

I am Elephant, hear me trumpet!

 

 

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Why I ate my words and chose Whatsapp over Ping…

A while back, I wrote that I preferred Ping over Whatsapp. I was wrong. In fact, I changed my mind so drastically that I ended up going back into the App Store and changing my reviews. I gave Ping 1/5 stars and Whatsapp 4/5 stars. Why not 5/5? I’ll come to that in a bit.

Here were my reasons for not liking Whatsapp:

– Automatic inclusion of other Whatsapp users in my contact list only works IF the number that I stored as their mobile number, is the same as the number they registered in the Whatsapp application. That number includes country codes. I didn’t want to go through my entire address book editing people’s mobile numbers to include the country code. (update: this has been rectified since version 2.1 — woohoo!)

– Not applicable to all countries. As of the writing of this post, Whatsapp still states that its “currently not avaliable in Mexico, Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand and India.

I can’t do a thing about its geographical availability but it wouldn’t be fair to write off an application just because of my laziness. So one afternoon, I made the time to go through my contacts and input the country code. And that, as they say, was the tipping point.

So here’s a very basic break down of Ping vs Whatsapp. First, the similarities:

1. Both are iPhone to iPhone messaging apps that use your wifi/3G/EDGE to send and receive messages.

2. Both come with instant push notifications.

3. Both do no require log in/out. Just select the application and you can start messaging. Exactly like the iPhone’s native SMS app.

4. Both require your iPhone’s notification settings to be “ON”.

5. Both (currently) cost USD0.99. Although, Ping has a Lite version that is free.

Now here’s the differences:

A. Whatsapp’s push notification sound is your default SMS sound. Ping has a loud, jarring PING PING. When you open the application to read your message, Whatsapp gently gives a low buzz. Ping? Redundantly, it PING PINGs you all over again!

B. With Ping, you will need to create an ID, then tell your iPhone buddies about the ID. As mentioned previously, Whatsapp recognises the mobile numbers and adds other Whatsapp users on your address book into your Whatsapp contact list.

C. There is a limit to the number of characters you can send per message. (140? 150?) There isn’t a limit with Whatsapp. This would matter less if Ping lets users see the number of characters they have left. It doesn’t, and so I have often received broken messages. Too often that I stopped using Ping and almost exclusively use Whatsapp.

D. Whatsapp can send group SMS. Ping cannot.

E. There have been consistent complaints about Ping…
- losing messages,
- inaccurate time stamping,
- no means of storing IDs or contact list in-app. Good luck if you clear a conversation and can’t remember your friend’s ID.
- Its too easy to accidentally clear a conversation. I’ve hit the ‘clear’ button often just trying to scroll through the conversation. There’s no warning, it just clears.

F. The UI on Whatsapp is just prettier. You can change the wallpaper if you wanted, which is good because I like pastels but Jimmy prefers dark shades. Everybody can get the theme they prefer.

G. Ping has a slightly faster load time than Whatsapp. Messages get sent a tinge faster too.

H. Ping alerts you (albeit with its shocking PING PING sound) for every single message. Whatsapp doesn’t. I supposed this is to prevent spamming you with alert sounds if you’re finger deep in a conversation with someone.

I’m sure there’s a lot more differences but for now, these are the ones that stand out for me.

Ping’s developer, Gary Fung, has hinted that there will be an option to send pictures in future upgrades. However, that edge over Whatsapp will be lost if the picture messages get lost anyway. Which brings me to what will get Whatsapp 5 stars from me: picture sending capabilities. Yup.

(update: I have been told that picture sending for Whatsapp is in beta testing — Yippee!)

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I like Lilies

I bought flowers for the home. My first time! I don’t buy flowers or even particularly care about getting them. But when it comes to Lillies, I make an exception. They smell so wonderful and look so flamboyant!

And why today of all days? Today, I didn’t clean my own home. I paid a wonderful lady to do it and I am so happy. She did a such a good job! She stooped to reach corners that I have pretended does not exist. She climbed to reach nooks that I, again, pretend not to notice gathering grey dust. She scrubbed the grease from my kitchen walls and the soap scum from the shower walls. 3 hours later, my home is sparkling and for the first time ever, I bought Lillies for the home.

In a way, I feel like I hit the reset button on my home. It feels so clean and new. I wish I could hit the reset button in other part of my life this easily.

Below: Lillies in my home. Taken with iPhone 3GS. Edited using Camerabag (Lolo).

 

 

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Calling a bluff

“no photos or I’ll sue” — TNP’s response? Not one photo but TWO big big photos of you!!

 

 

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Punggol 21 … Building the ‘plus’

There’s at least 3 new estates sprouting up in Punggol. One of which won some Eco award. All part of the grand plan to actualize the ‘plus’ life in the newly renamed, Punggol 21+.

I’m looking forward to the promised tree lined walkways along the river, the lush landscaping and man made water features. But I don’t know if they are better than the wild, untamed expanse of land and trees that I have now. Right now, I can still see the sea from my study room. That view will be gone soon.

That’s the thing about change; there’s always an opportunity cost, isn’t there?

 

 

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Rain at dusk

It’s not yet 7pm, the streets lights had not come on yet. But the dark clouds made everything gothic and grey.

Much like my mood today.

The thing about the weather? You can count on it to be sunny again, sooner or later.

 

 

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I am “The Fun One”

Its interesting the discover what others see in me. Viana thinks I’m “The Fun One”.

It’s always a pleasant (and very welcome) surprise when people say nice things about me spontaneously. Its like a little gift when no gift is called for, and those are the best kind right? It says: I’m thinking about you even when there’s no obligatory reason to.

Is there a spontaneous word of affirmation or compliment that you could give to somebody today? It takes so little on your part, but I bet it’ll mean a lot to the person who hears it.

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